I can’t talk about Assertiveness enough. In a world where busy is often an understatement, I find that people do not assert themselves enough when managing both their time and commitment. Come on Good People! We have to learn when to say NO. Assertion is great for several reasons:
- People learn to respect your time
- It promotes shared responsibility
- It gives you work/life balance
- It helps you actually accomplish your goals vs the goals of everyone else
- It will lead to less burnout and more productivity
- Others won’t look to rely on you for things you truly can’t help with.
- Others won’t be able to take advantage of you.
But how do I assert myself without seeming rude?
I’m glad you asked! There are several ways you can assert yourself politely. You can say no and follow that up with an honest explanation. You can say no and then clarify your reasoning (but do not make excuses). Offering an alternative is always a helpful way to say no. You can say yes (see example below) and then give your reasoning for not doing it or provide an alternative solution. And if all else fails, assert your refusal and repeat it no matter what.
Still don’t know what to say? No worries, I’ve provided some examples. Commit these to memory and you will be well on your way to asserting yourself and making better use of your time and your resources as well as completing your true commitments more effectively.
Examples:
- “I am uncomfortable doing that because…”
- “I can’t right now because I have another project that is due by 5 pm today.”
- “I don’t have time today, but I could schedule it in for tomorrow morning.”
- “I understand that you need to have this paperwork filed immediately, but I will not be able to file it for you.”
- “Yes, I would love to help you by filing this paperwork, but I do not have time until tomorrow morning.”
- “I understand how you feel, but I will not [or cannot]…”
~JMJ